#making the choice. to hurt me. to disrespect my boundaries.

[badcountryofficial]

ngl i'm not doing well!!

i wanna kms!! i really do<3 but i can't and i wont but fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK KILL MYSELF ONE HUNDRED YEARS FOREVER. i shouldn't think abt it as much as i do it's pointless. it was so bad. SO bad. fucked me up forever bad. ... ... ... but what about when it was good it could be so good...never perfect and it always felt like he wasn't fully on the same page but it was GOOD...and it felt like he never fully understood ME but. small price to pay? right? right???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

[lavenderarts]

LRB I’m being so deadass when I say I’m happier and safer and more secure in my relationships for deciding to live by the idea that things that weren’t said to me outright were not said and are therefore not my damn problem. For the first time in my 28 years of life I know people I have never had an argument with, EVER, because when something is going on we talk about it instead and it doesn’t become emotionally heated and hurtful. Like I try to look back and think of a time my best friend hurt my feelings and there just. isn’t one. For the first time, I have no laundry list of grievances I can never address because all the people in my life refuse to tell me when I’ve upset them and expect me to never get upset with them and lash out at me if I ever need something.

I’ve spent my life going from one abuser to the next with no one to truly support or look out for me or tell me I deserved more, I felt like an emotional dairy cow — I was always expected to lavish care and attention onto my ‘friends’ and never get mad at them and just accept it when they lashed out at me for things beyond my control or mistakes they never told me about. I was supposed to take it and continue to nurture, to solve all their problems unendingly, because they were going through a hard time or struggling with unmedicated mental health issues or simply didn’t know how to behave yet so it wasn’t their fault; and if I ever had a need in return I was tossed in the garbage because I was not allowed to want support or care. Do you know how crazy it feels to go from 2 decades of that to suddenly being faced with someone who is proud of you for setting boundaries? To someone who earnestly celebrates your accomplishments instead of getting bitterly jealous that you’re better at something than they are? To someone who defends you when you’re not around and won’t allow people in their life to disrespect you for the sake of keeping peace? To someone who you know, without a doubt, will be in your life forever instead of feeling your grip on a relationship slowly slipping away and everything spiraling out of control around you because your usefulness has run out and you didn’t get the memo you were no longer wanted?

It’s insane. You can just decide, anytime you like, to stop doing the emotional labor of divining other people’s feelings via magic. You can set a standard that people either tell you when an issue has come up so you can properly apologize and work out a solution together or they can solve it themselves, but you won’t be taken to task for problems you weren’t informed existed. And you can simply remove people who don’t follow that from your life. Obviously you can’t be mean and uncompromising — you have to hold yourself to the same standard you’re demanding, and you have to be honest without being insulting or manipulative. You’re being honest for the health of the relationship, not to be unkind. You can still intuit; if I think I might’ve hurt someone’s feelings you can literally just ask. You can say “Hey, I feel like I might have upset you earlier, did I? If so I’d really like to apologize and talk about it a little bit” and that’s not inappropriate. You’ll come across people who REALLY do not fucking like that and will try to make you feel like you’re demanding or dramatic or weird for it — I did, and getting told that I’m “too much” for expressing my opinions confidently and wanting honest communication in my relationships almost broke me — but you aren’t. You’re making a choice that is right for you. People aren’t obligated to stick around if they can’t understand and respect that choice.

I don’t act like this because I don’t trust people, it’s the opposite: I trust other adults to handle their emotions like adults and be able to assess if my friendship with them is worth the discomfort of an open conversation every now and again. I trust my loved ones to tell me if I hurt them and allow me the opportunity to apologize and modify my behavior. It’s because I trust people that I require this level of frankness, and if that trust is broken and I’m not confident it can be repaired, we go our separate ways. Easy.

You can just do all this. You’ll find people who fuck with it. Stop being a fucking doormat and find people who love you, not just how you serve them.

I can’t thank my friends enough for loving me and being willing to be honest with me. I never want to go back to how alone I felt, and being supported and cared for by you makes me sure I’ll never have to.

[mi-rae07]

Song Mingi : Blood And Bones

Pairing : Song Mingi (Ateez) and named character (Jung Miyeon)

__________________

Synopsis : Miyeon is an underground boxer, her life revolves around blood and violence while Mingi is the CEO of a tech company, his life revolves around diploma and professionalism.

They're in a relationship, and has been for a year but mingi still cannot get used to seeing miyeon beat people up to the point where they have to be taken to the hospital and miyeon seems to give more importance to WWE matches than their dates. Will Mingi finally have enough?

____________________

A/n : Just a small light-hearted fic after the last one because I supposed I needed it.

_____________________

Miyeon : you think you're any better than me you wench?

That was the last thing miyeon said before punching her opponent right in the face, making her fall to the arena floor as she coughed up blood. The crowd around screamed, making miyeon smirk in victory as the referee counted

??? : ONE! TWO! THREE AND WE HAVE A WINNER!

The referee raised miyeon's arm as the crowd clapped and screamed for her, making her feel good all over again. This was all she wanted, the feeling of winning the screams of her crowd. This, made the pain all worth it.

Miyeon smirked and looked towards the front row as she noticed her boyfriend just staring at her, his eyes unreadable. He got up as he noticed her stare and just walked out, making miyeon sigh. She was going to have to go out after him.

Soon the congratulations and pats in the back were all over as miyeon rushed out of the hall without bothering to even grab her trophy, finding her boyfriend more important.

Miyeon : mingi!

Miyeon rushed up to mingi who was leaning against the stone wall right outside the hall, his breathing heavy as miyeon said excitedly

Miyeon : did you see my win! Wasn't it-

Mingi : I did see your win, miyeon, and I also saw your opponent being taken to the hospital in a stretcher, bruised and bloodied. Something you caused.

Miyeon rolled her eyes at his words as she said

Miyeon : this is underground boxing, mingi. I have to cause that to her to win, and I have to win to earn money.

Mingi : don't I already make enough money for us?

Miyeon stared at mingi's Aston Martin that was parked a few feet away from them, her rusty old Swift next to it a complete contrast.

Miyeon : money for you, yes. For us, well we don’t know how long that will last. You can leave the next second and I'll be left with nothing. I've told you before, mingi, that I will not make the mistake of sacrificing my career for a man, even you.

Mingi : career? You're a business graduate, miyeon, you had so many other job options and you chose this. This…pathetic game of violence that always ends in blood.

Miyeon : are you questioning my career choices right now, song mingi?

Mingi paused as miyeon scoffed in anger and said

Miyeon : my life is mine to choose, mingi, you are just a part of it and not the whole life. I can live without you as well so do not overstep your boundaries.

Mingi : miyeon I just-

Miyeon : no you keep doing this, don't you? Do I come into your company and ask you to quit it to go work as a boxer? Disrespect the work that you do for a living? No. So you don't get to do that with me either.

Mingi : I just don't want you hurt-

Miyeon : aww, how cute of you. Mingi you met me when I was a boxer, you fell in love with me despite all the blood and broken bones. And now you're trying to change me?

Mingi : I was just…I was just scared. It won't happen again.

Miyeon chuckled, rolling her eyes as she said

Miyeon : that's the 5th time you're saying that mingi. If you can't handle me, then leave and find some girl that runs a fucking florist shop.

Miyeon turned and was about to walk towards the hall again when mingi held her arm, turning her around before saying

Mingi : I'm sorry, I promise it won't happen again.

Miyeon stared at mingi, not really believing him. He let out a breath as he leaned forward, holding her blood smeared cheek before kissing it. He could taste the blood on his lips, but the love he had for her measured far more than his dislike for blood.

Mingi : I love you, I just didn't want to see you hurt that's all. I won't try and change you, miyeon, your life is yours.

Miyeon leaned forward and kissed mingi, pushing him into a secluded corner wall before kissing him harder. Mingi groaned as he tangled his hand in miyeon's hair, tugging it as she pulled back and stared at him with hazy eyes before saying

Miyeon : be glad you have a pretty face too good to be ruined.

Mingi smiled as miyeon ran her thumb along his lips with a smirk before whispering

Miyeon : or I would've let you go a long time ago for so much as talking against me.

_______________________________

A week later :

Mingi : um miyeon?

Miyeon hummed, leaning back against the sofa as her eyes were still trained on the WWE boxing match playing on TV. She had been at this for hours now and mingi now wondered whether she'd forgotten about the date they had in the evening. Mingi had kept himself from reminding her thinking it would anger her if he interfered in between. But there was only 15 minutes left to leave and miyeon was still eating chips on the couch.

Mingi : we…we have a date.

Miyeon : mm, when?

Mingi blinked his eyes as miyeon still kept her focus on the match

Mingi : within 15 minutes?

Miyeon paused, now turning to face mingi as she asked

Miyeon : wait, 15…oh shit!

Mingi's heart dropped at the genuine surprise on miyeon's face as he said in a low voice

Mingi : you forgot about it.

Miyeon : oh, min I'm so sorry I just-

Mingi : no it's fine, forget about it.

Mingi took off his suit jacket before throwing it into the laundry, walking towards their room without a word. Miyeon sighed as she got up from the sofa, picking up the suit jacket before rushing behind mingi

Miyeon : mingi-ah, I'll get ready right now.

Mingi : don't bother, I'm cancelling.

Miyeon let out a breath as she followed behind mingi into their room before saying in a hurried voice

Miyeon : I was just too focused on the match it slipped my mind-

Mingi : oh yeah, just like how everything about me just 'slips your mind'.

Miyeon let out an exasperated breath as mingi sat back on their bed, untying his shoelaces as he said

Mingi : have you ever had me forget a date, miyeon? A birthday? An anniversary?

Miyeon sighed as she kneeled on the floor next to mingi before trying to hold mingi's hand. He shook his head, taking his hand away. Miyeon held it again, shaking her head as she said

Miyeon : look at me.

Mingi : I don't want to.

Miyeon knew how mingi was when he was about to cry, and this was it. She held his cheek before turning him to face her as she said

Miyeon : min, I'm so sorry. I'll get ready real quick and we can go out okay? I'll even pay for the entire date to make up for it, hmm?

Miyeon knew mingi would've picked a high end restaurant for dinner and her budget definitely wouldn't cover it. But even if she had to take a loan out she was going to pay for it.

Mingi : no it's okay, you can go back to your match.

Mingi's voice wavered in the end as he pressed his lips together, looking away. Miyeon's eyes softened as she leaned forward and kissed mingi before pulling back and said

Miyeon : baby, please. I know I made a mistake and I'm sorry for it, aren't I? I'll make up for it and it won't happen again, I promise.

A tear fell down mingi's eyes as he said

Mingi : but I feel so small in your life, miyeon.

Miyeon stared at mingi as his face contorted into that of pain as he said shakily

Mingi : I know I'm only a part of your life but am I really such a small part? You give more importance to a match than me, miyeon. I just…I just want some attention-

Mingi cut himself off with a sob as miyeon hugged him, nuzzling her face into his neck before saying

Miyeon : you are a big part of my life mingi, I promise. I make as much money as I can for you, so I can buy you the things you buy for me. I want a future with you, a family some day even. I swear it's not like I don't love you, I do. I know I'm not doing a good job showing it but I'll get better, hmm?

Mingi stared at miyeon as she pulled back and wiped his tears away with the pad of her thumbs, kissing both his eyes as she whispered

Miyeon : I'll get better. Won't you forgive me, baby?

Mingi sniffled, nodding as he said

Mingi : okay, but only if you promise me ice-cream for the next week.

Miyeon chuckled with teary eyes, kissing mingi's cheek as she said

Miyeon : anything for my baby boy. Now, I'll go get ready!

Miyeon rushed towards her closet as she said loudly

Miyeon : and wear that suit, you look very sexy in it.

Mingi chuckled as miyeon skipped into the closet to change excitedly. He put the suit on as he sighed and whispered

Mingi : still won't match up to your muscles.

_________________________________

[hrizantemy]

Day 15 of ACOTAR Games: This or That

Who deserves a redemption arc?

Rhysand

Cassian

Your contenders: @achaotichuman @litnerdwrites @umthisistheonlyusernamenottaken

On penalty: @yaralulu

It's perfectly fine that you are tending to your priorities. This is barely a corner we resort to for some reprieve. I am glad you are finding joy in what you do despite the tediousness of it. Please take care of yourself and return when you are mentally able to.

I personally think neither of them truly deserves a redemption arc. They’ve both done things that I just can’t overlook. Rhysand, with his manipulation and questionable choices, particularly regarding the treatment of others, doesn’t come across as someone who’s earned redemption in my eyes. As for Cassian, while I understand his struggles and the trauma he’s been through, his actions toward Nesta, including the verbal abuse and disrespect, make it hard for me to believe he deserves a redemption arc either.

But if anyone were to get one, I guess I’d choose Cassian. His growth could be more meaningful if it truly addresses the harm he’s caused and the toxic behaviors he’s exhibited, especially toward Nesta. However, I’m not sure if that’s something SJM will actually do in a way that feels earned.

I think Cassian’s realization of how he’s treated Nesta is long overdue, and it would be a powerful moment if he finally acknowledged the harm he’s caused. The verbal abuse, the moments of degradation, and his complete disregard for her emotional needs would have to hit him hard—maybe not just through words, but through actions that really show him the depth of his mistakes. He needs to understand that his behavior was not just a momentary lapse, but a pattern of cruelty that made her feel unworthy and small.

If he were to grovel, it wouldn’t just be a couple of apologies or gestures to win back her affection. It would have to be a true reckoning—a deep, raw moment where he admits to himself how wrong he was and how much pain he caused. It would have to be more than just “I’m sorry, I didn’t know” because that’s not enough at this point. He’d need to express how he failed her, take responsibility for his actions without any excuses, and show genuine remorse. The apology would have to be something that reflects the hurt she felt, not just something that fits into his need to feel absolved.

Cassian needs to be humble—perhaps even go so far as to put his own pride aside, something that isn’t easy for him—and show her through consistent actions that he’s truly learned from his mistakes. It’s not about trying to win her back or gain her forgiveness for himself; it’s about demonstrating, every day, that he respects her boundaries, her needs, and her strength. Only then would I start to see that maybe, just maybe, he could begin to redeem himself.

If Cassian were to truly come to terms with how he’s treated Nesta and put in the work to show her genuine remorse, I’d love to see them travel together. There’s something so raw and intimate about traveling—especially when it’s a journey of healing and redemption. The physical distance between them would mirror the emotional distance they’ve had, and it could be a way for them to rediscover each other in a space where neither of them is confined by the past.

Imagine them journeying through new lands, perhaps visiting places that hold no expectations for them. There would be moments of quiet reflection, where Cassian would have to prove that his growth isn’t just words, but actions—whether it’s standing beside Nesta when she’s vulnerable or offering her a space to truly be herself without any pressure. It could be a time for her to regain trust in him, to see him not just as the soldier or the High Lord’s brother, but as someone who is truly working to change.

In the midst of their travels, they could share stories, face dangers together, and even have moments of lightness, where Cassian’s attempts to make her laugh or his gentle, thoughtful gestures speak volumes. It would be a chance for them to build new memories, ones that aren’t tainted by his past mistakes. Seeing them move through the world side by side, as equals, would give them the chance to rebuild their relationship on solid ground.

And through it all, Nesta could see that the man beside her is truly different—that he isn’t just apologizing, but actively seeking to make things right. I think it would be beautiful if they came to understand each other in a way that’s beyond what either of them thought was possible. There’s a quiet strength in seeing someone grow, and for them to travel and grow together would be a powerful testament to the change Cassian would need to make.

For Cassian and Nesta to truly grow together, it would take a deep, mutual effort to understand each other’s struggles, desires, and boundaries. Growth, for them, isn’t just about overcoming past mistakes, but about learning to support each other in ways they’ve never done before. It would require them to peel back the layers of hurt, pride, and fear that have kept them apart, and to rebuild their relationship from the ground up, brick by brick.

Cassian would need to go beyond simply acknowledging his past wrongs. He would have to prove, over time, that he respects Nesta’s autonomy, her strength, and her need for space. Real growth isn’t about forcing a connection or pushing her into forgiving him quickly—it’s about consistent effort. That might mean stepping back when she needs distance, offering her comfort when she’s vulnerable, and letting her know that he sees her not just as a mate, but as an individual with her own pain and her own agency.

Nesta, on the other hand, would need to unlearn the belief that she isn’t worthy of love and respect. Cassian’s actions—if they’re consistent and genuine—could help her slowly rebuild trust, but she would also have to find her own sense of healing. She’d need to believe that, no matter how toxic relationships in her past were, she can still create a space for something healthier. As she grows, she could learn to be vulnerable with Cassian in ways she never has been before, knowing he’s not there to control or undermine her, but to stand beside her as an equal.

Their growth could be fostered in the quiet moments, when they’re traveling or working together toward a common goal. Those moments of facing adversity as a team—whether it’s battling through external enemies or navigating their own internal struggles—would help them develop trust in each other. They would learn to rely on each other’s strengths and hold each other accountable when needed. Cassian, for example, would have to prove that he can step back from his own pride and let Nesta lead in her own way, whether in battle, in decision-making, or in their personal lives.

Through shared experiences, they’d begin to see each other as partners—not just as individuals with their own pasts, but as people who are willing to grow and evolve for the betterment of their relationship. It would be a delicate dance, filled with both successes and setbacks, but the key would be their willingness to meet each other halfway.

Ultimately, their growth together would hinge on respect—respect for each other’s autonomy, flaws, and strength. As they both work to overcome their personal demons and the scars left from past wounds, they could create a space where they can love and support each other in a way that’s healthy, balanced, and rooted in mutual understanding. The beauty of this journey would be in the process itself��two broken people coming together, not to fix each other, but to help each other heal.

I missed this, oopsie! Sorry babes, I’ve been MIA for a sec but we’re back in action now!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for exposing my friend's infidelity to their spouse?

I have a best friend, let's call them "F1", who I've known for a long time. "F1" married their spouse, lets call them "F2", whom I also consider a friend, as I met them through F1. I care about both of them, although my friendship with F1 is more established and closer than my friendship with F2���.

I declare the following information for the readers here: I know, with absolute certainty, that, before now F1 has never cheated on their spouse.

I'm going to share the following story as I heard it from my friend, F1, in question. I'm relaying details as they were told to me by my friend themselves. The feelings are not my presumptions, but statements of F1 that they made to me explicitly.

My good friend, F1, had a physical although, ultimately, an "emotional relationship" with a person, let us call them "Z". The affair (they always said "relationship", not affair) lived from October of last year to the spring of this year. It was neither expected nor preventable that F1 fell in love with Z; this was not their choice, but they chose to start the affair with Z. F1 pursued it because being with Z brought him "peace and respect" that they "hasn't felt in—I don't know how long ago". The feelings they had for Z were deep.  as cheesy and cliché as it sounds, these were the circumstances between F1 and Z. 

F1 told me about the affair around the time they decided to end it, saying that they still loved Z, but "the fear of losing their marriage" and resistance to "hurting F1" led them to end the affair.

This is the end of the story as F1 told it to me.

Lets call F1's spouse "F2". F2 is nice, I like F2, we get along well enough, I have no problems with them. F2 can be, however, controlling of F1, making them [F1] divulge all of their personal conversations between friends and colleagues, even when it could risk F1's job. F1 has tried to communicate their legitimate boundaries to F2 (examples: "can we please not talk about my private family relationships with your friends?", "I would appreciate refraining from discussing details of my parents' issues while we are in public"). These requests have gone ignored by F2, claiming that they are entitled to know everything about F1's life, even information shared in confidence . I know that F1 is not perfect; they are considerate, although oblivious to social cues and have certain problem-solving issues. F2 is not beyond fault, either; they are caring and dedicated to their loved ones, although refuse to respect peoples' privacies and private lives, as they regularly worry that people are talking about them or lying to them.

I don't need judgment of the infidelity. I know that it is wrong to cheat on a spouse. I don't think that cheating is good, but I do think that F1 is hurt the personal violations of their autonomy and disrespect in their marriage. I think that F1 has grown tired of being treated poorly and was desperate to be treated like an equal. I have tried so hard not to be biased in favor of F1, by being sympathetic to F2. They have a lot of trust issues, in fear of abandonment, but their anxiety has backfired by alienating F1. F2 wants to be cherished and adored,  although they are trying to secure that attachment by cutting off F1 from their friendships and family.

I can see why F1 got comfort from another person, especially a person who didn't make them feel like a child unworthy of respect. I also think that F2 deserves to know about the infidelity.

I detest like getting involved in personal issues, but I know that if my spouse were cheating on me, then I would want to know the truth. I know for a fact that F2 would want to know the truth. I am torn by this issue. I want to respect F1's confidence in me, but I believe that if someone is being cheated on, then they deserve to know because they deserve to be loved in the way that they think they are being loved by their partner.  should I tell F2 or keep F1's secret? 

What are these acronyms?

[scribefindegil]

ok i'm soooo happy you talked about the mind control thing with the divine tree arc. it rubbed me the wrong way a lot and is the reason why i still don't really like dimple, even though i know it's an important story point and all, i feel like brainwashing is a huge violation and it was never really talked about afterwards. it also rubbed me the wrong way when mob wondered if he did something wrong by stopping the brainwashing even though it made peopl happy, like i feel like that's so disrespectful to autonomy and such (even though, it is a fictional story)

i really like what you're doing with the brassica heresy, with tsubomi taking center stage bc she is one of my faves, i'm really excited where it will go!

Okay. It is possible that you will not like what I have to say. That's fine; you don't have to agree with me and you certainly don't have to like a fictional character who has done fucked-up stuff.

That said.

I feel like you're approaching this with framing that's pretty at odds with the themes of the show. Everyone agrees that the brainwashing was bad. A lot of Mob Psycho characters have done things that are bad. Pretty much everyone I know spent most of the Divine Tree confrontation absolutely furious with Dimple. But the question is: Okay, a character has done something awful. Now what? A lot of people would say that the only solution is punishment and rejection, that Dimple has done something too terrible for him to remain a sympathetic character, and he needs to be exiled or killed or imprisoned or otherwise removed from the show.

But Mob Psycho 100 believes, completely and utterly, with its whole chest, with every arc and with every character, that there is nothing you can do that is so terrible that you are undeserving of human connection, that you are incapable of changing for the better. It believes that there is no fundamental, ontological difference between the people you hate and the people you love, between a terrorist trying to take over the world and a kid who lashed out once and accidentally hurt his brother. Which isn't to say that actions don't matter; obviously they do, and they have consequences. But regardless of what they've done, everyone is just a person. Everyone can grow.

And, crucially, it isn't interested in punishment. Did the character realize their mistake and begin to change? That's what matters. The show doesn't have people constantly rehash the bad things they've done; it just gives them the chance to stop and choose a different path. And Dimple does. Dimple realizes that his goal of godhood wasn't going to make him happy, but his friendship with Mob was.

And people can have boundaries; people can decide that they don't want to be associated with someone any more; forgiveness, in Mob Psycho, is always a choice. But it's a choice that the characters continue to make because the show values kindness and transformation.

So like, yeah, the brainwashing was truly, deeply horrifying. And Mob loves Dimple anyway. And I do too.

(Also, to your point about the LOL cult: Mob is extremely anxious about doing the right thing and specifically about following social rules. And those people did seem to be happy, so of course it makes sense that the fear that he made their lives worse is going to eat at him. That's why Reigen's there, to reassure him, to tell him "You saved some people that only you could have saved," to listen to him tell his story and say that no, those people weren't really happy, and he did something good and important and necessary by breaking the spell.)

[thenightfolknetwork]

Hello, I wrote in a while ago about my son, and I think you should be made aware of everything that has happened since our letters aired, as you aided him in opening up about his true troubles at the time.

I did give him the privacy of not listening to his letter as it came on that night, which he probably would have quizzed me about if he’d still been awake when I got home. He’s still my son and several of my more, let’s say family oriented former colleagues, did heavily impress on me that I should respect whatever boundaries he draws, no matter how silly. That did partially lend me to think his sullenness was a new boundary that I didn’t dare directly cross.

I did also say former colleagues, as I took your advice and left my old line of work, completely severing any ties to it and giving up any nemesis statuses I might’ve racked up over the years,and opened up a small Etsy shop where I sell custom hand sewn clothing items. The patterns I remember from my youth are actually quite popular amongst longer lived genuses who are nostalgic about late 18th and early 19th century fashion, and sapio historical reenactors and fashion history enthusiasts. And who knew that the sleight of hand I developed during my old job would lend itself so well to hand sewing!

My son is also doing well. His bully issues have been solved with minor feather loss on her end (mostly due the stress from her actions making its way back to her convocation), and the school councillor has regular meet ups with her last I heard. I’ve also met my son’s boyfriend! A lovely young merman, who’s so very sweet. I’m glad he found someone nice and only begrudgingly understand why he kept them a secret from me. I do agree that I have the potential to be very intimidating to new people, especially those who have a real way of hurting my son.

I still listen to your broadcasts, especially the agonies section, but nowadays it’ll be when I’m up late felling the edges of my projects rather than hunting down whoever was on my list for the night.

May you have a wonderful week. Good night.

I'm so glad to hear you and your son are seeing eye to eye once more! I remember both your initial letter and his own, and recall how evident it was that both of you cared very much for one another, even as you struggled to find a way to communicate.

Well done on leaving your old job. I know it couldn't have been easy for you, but I admire your willingness to make difficult choices for the safety and happiness of your family.

As I said in my response, I never wished to shame or blame you for your son's forcible turning. That responsibilty lies firmly with the individual who attacked him.

But that individual was acting in response to your chosen career, and I am very glad you took my advice and have taken up a less dangerous profession - for yourself, and your loved ones.

You've demonstrated real care and consideration for him during this difficult period, and it's good to see that paying off in his newfound trust in you. I wish you all the best in your historical costuming endeavours.

It is always difficult as a parent to discern the line between respecting your child's privacy, and keeping them safe. But just as it was inappropriate for you to expect your son to defend himself against an attacked, it would have been inappropriate to disrespect his autonomy and independence.

I can't pretend I don't feel some small satisfaction at hearing his school bully has been suffering from the consequences of her behaviour. May her suffering be short-lived - but educational.

It sounds as if you've done a very good job of walking that line, making sure your son feels supported while also demonstrating that you can be trusted not to cross his boundaries – even those you may consider “silly”. You have more than risen to the challenge, and I wish you and your son all the best in the future.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[the-haunted-office]

💫 - For mun and muse of your choice!

with the year coming to an end, send me a "🎆" and a ...

💫 to hear one thing i realized this year

📝 The Author: I started going to therapy a couple months ago because I felt like my anxiety was really getting out of control, especially when it came to feeling like... I was just doing everything wrong. Like no matter what I do, I just can't measure up, or that there is something wrong or off-putting about me or something people don't like about me or something gross or bad about me that I don't know about and nobody is telling me, because my entire life I have had people treat me a certain way, and I've never known why, so I thought talking to a therapist might help me find some answers. I really didn't know if I was just surrounding myself with the wrong people, or if there really was something wrong with my personality or the way I am that makes people dislike me and I was really hurting for it, so off I went to therapy.

Well, long story short, I've learned that my best friend, who was my friend all through my childhood and well throughout my 20's, was abusive towards me, so I was traumatized from that. I never learned how to set and maintain proper boundaries with people because of that, because she was constantly trampling all over them, and any time I tried to stand up for myself, she'd knock me down, make things about herself, make herself the victim, shame me, bully me, and just... make me feel like trash. I had no other friends, and at home, my brothers got all the attention, so getting any attention from my friend was like... I don't know, it's hard to explain, but I saw her as my friend so I took whatever she had to give me and I saw it as friendship. I didn't realize I was being abused. I had a number of friendships be like this over the course of my life, I've always let people trample all over me and my boundaries, and nobody ever stood up for me, I just let it happen.

Therapy has helped me see this, and even helped me see how my own family has failed me. My own family has been misogynistic against me, held my brothers in higher esteem than me over the years, I finally had the courage to cut them off after the US election, and I'm starting to feel better. Therapy has helped me learn to stand up for myself and reinforce my boundaries and teach others how I deserve to be treated. I'm learning not to tolerate disrespect anymore.

🌙 Doomsday: This year I realized...... that people really are full of shit and I don't need those people in my life. The real ones are the ones who actually see me. My sister died and none of her friends noticed. That... really fucked me up, you know? That really made me realize how to recognize a real friend from... everyone else. So. Yeah. I know who my real friends are. Everyone else can fuck off.

[hellishvxbes]

Okay I hate those posts that discourage people telling their feelings. Like ‘oh I no longer write long paragraphs explaining how I feel anymore because people don’t care’

How ppl react to your words is up to them, but you deserve to say how you feel. Doesn’t matter if they don’t take you seriously. You have every right to tell someone exactly how they’ve hurt you and how it’s made you feel.

It’s so sad to me that people think they should just take it. Bottle it up. Not confront because ‘it’s pointless’ nah.

My feelings aren’t pointless. And if you can’t handle me coming to you and holding you accountable? Fucking tough. If you don’t want to seen or perceived as a bad person maybe don’t do shitty things.

Choices have consequences and I have spent so much of my life letting ppl get away with doing me dirty and being told that I’m doing too much because I try and hold them accountable.

I’m making a big deal. I’m causing drama. It’s nothing but manipulation to keep them from having to address how messed up they are. And I refuse to let that happen. Disrespect me, you can count on it that I will disrespect you back. It’s not childish or petty. It’s standing up for myself and setting a boundary that you don’t get to get away with treating me badly.

I respect and give enough of a damn about myself to fight back.

[swallowedbyfandom]

Dearest Lady Bridgerton,

In another life I would have married your son, carried your grandchildren, and called you mama. This is no longer a possibility. You have always been so kind to me that it hurts me to tell you this, but loving your son has been killing my spirit slowly.

In the eight years since Colin accepted our bond than changed his mind, I have spent four years watching him flirt and charm other ladies. I have had to content myself with scraps of his attentions to satisfy our bond but deal with his denial over the advancement of our bond. I am tired of having him confuse me constantly by looking at me with love struck eyes then pulling away with polite civility. I am tired of him keeping me as his shameful secret.

I have cried over the heartbreak of having my soulmate court and propose to my cousin. I was forced to chaperone them, Violet. I betrayed my family to give Colin the truth of Marina and he did not even let me speak. He dismissed me and my words as if I was not the bearer of his soul. You will not want to hear this but I have prayed since that night to be freed from our bond.

I encouraged his travels in the hope that his distance would lessen the pull of the bond so I could move on. It may have worked if he did not keep correspondence with me. His letters filled me with the hope that once he returned he would be ready to stop running. He returned and nothing changed, I had to nurse his broken heart over another woman. I prayed once more to be freed from our bond, to wake up one morning unmarked.

This final betrayal, his renouncement of me as a potential wife and his rejection of our soul bond hurt but it also filled me with relief. Our bond is gone and fate has finally answered my prayers. I have been given a new soulmate and I choose to embrace that wholeheartedly.

I deserve a soulmate who is proud to be mine. A man who will find me beautiful and court me properly. I want true love, marriage, and babies. I will not settle for less than that. I will not settle for Colin Bridgerton.

I know you want all your children to find their soulmates and to live a grand love story, Colin can still have part of that just not with me. Please do not try to fix us, there is nothing left to repair. Colin repeatedly made his choice and now he has to live with it. We all do.

Thank you for all the support and kindness you have shown me throughout the years. I wish you and your family well. This is farewell, if I am to heal I cannot do so by living in the past. I cannot move on if there are still Bridgertons in my life. I shall always miss you.

Your once fated daughter,

Penelope Anne Featherington

To Lord Antony Bridgerton,

I want to be clear that with the harsh end of the soul bond between your brother and I, I also consider the former relationships I held with everyone in your family to be concluded. I am no longer fated to a member of your family. I release you from any obligation you may feel to look after my future.

Mr. Colin Bridgerton has spent the last eight years we have been bonded doing the bare minimum as a mate, it should not require much adjustment to do nothing at all. I am an of age lady out in society so I must insist that you stop your brother's over familiarity with me, without the bond it is wildly inappropriate. I have wasted in love with your brother for eight years, I will not waste another second on him.

I ask that you respect me and my boundaries by keeping your family from imposing on my life. Please make note that Mr. Bridgerton is no longer welcome at Featherington house. I have been given a new soul match and I will not disrespect him by maintaining relationships that can lead to speculation.

Regards,

Penelope Anne Featherington

[siriuslysatorusimping]

Another Level Author Discussion: Hollow Echoes

I absolutely LOVE that so many of you have so many thoughts about the most recent addition to Another Level! This part was incredibly challenging for me to write and I'm so very proud of how it came out and how the emotions came across.

I decided to post this because I was going to end up writing full-length books in the comments replying, and I thought this might be better lol For those who haven't read it yet, I'm putting the discussion below the cut so you can avoid spoilers!

If you haven't already and want to know more, you can find Another Level on AO3 :)

In all honesty, I struggled to write this part a lot because I already had the outcome planned. I knew from the start that this would be their first big fight and it would test them, but that they would come out stronger. I also knew that I wanted to keep Gojo as close to our real Gojo as possible, meaning that he's likely not going to apologize for hurting her. In his mind, he was justified in being upset, so whatever he did or said was justified as well.

You will see some of this in the upcoming chapter for Hollow Echoes.

Something I want to convey in this story as a whole is that people are messy. Humans are filled with lots of emotions, and pain is one of the hardest to work with because people in pain are typically unpredictable.

Gojo is human. And he is far from perfect. While he shouldn't have lashed out the way he did, it's very human of him to direct that anger at the first person he comes in contact with. It's actually why he had isolated himself in the first place because he knows he's not okay enough to be around people when he's like that even if he doesn't know how to say that. He doesn't want to risk ruining the persona he's built of being carefree and nonchalant by taking his anger out on others, so he shuts himself away for a few days to get a handle on his emotions and then slides his mask back in place. She caught him while he was still trying to find that mask again and it threw him off a lot. Hence his lashing out. 

He's also furious with Nanami. More than he's upset with Rinko, actually. Because Nanami overstepped quite a bit here. Well-intentioned, but he ignored the fact that Gojo clearly wanted to be left alone.

We're going to see that Nanami struggles with letting people handle things alone, he is a fixer. It's a trait that's pretty common in a lot of people even if they don't mean for it to be harmful: Your not being okay is making me not okay or is disrupting my life, so I need you to be okay again so I can be okay too. While many times it's because they care about that person, it rarely has good results, and this is a prime example of that.

Gojo missing jobs is disrupting Nanami's life because he's having to pick up some of the slack, and Yaga is getting angry as well. So, he does what he thinks will fix it: have Rinko talk to him. Because Gojo acts differently with her and is softer with her, Nanami thought that she would show up and things would just fix themselves. He's going to keep thinking that without meaning to.

So, while Rinko and Nanami both meant well, they blatantly disrespected Gojo's wish to be left alone.

Should he have communicated that he wanted to be left alone explicitly? Maybe. But they both should have realized that if he wasn't answering, that was him communicating his desire. Rinko did realize this, but she ignored that instinct in favor of listening to people who had known Gojo longer.

Nanami asking Rinko to cross a boundary by invading Gojo's space without permission - and her doing so - hurt Gojo quite a bit. Because it's what everyone else does and he didn't expect her to be like that. It's why she had a key to his place when literally no one else did. Because he thought he could trust her to not do exactly what she ended up doing.

I also made the purposeful choice to have her not mention in her messages that she was coming over. None of her messages even implied such, so he was truly blindsided by her showing up and entering without his permission.

Honestly, I have been on both ends of similar situations and it's really hard, so I'm happy with how this turned out because it starts to convey that complexity just a bit.

So, while being upset with him is completely understandable - and Rinko will be because she's also human and has emotions and is valid in them - his reaction makes sense from a purely human perspective. She also already knows that what she did was wrong, how she went about trying to check on him, and she'll acknowledge it. She knows he's human. Probably better than anyone else in his life at this point, and she understands what it's like to say and do things just because she's hurting.

He is going to admit to her that it's one of the things he likes most about her, appreciates about her. Because she sees a human with too much being asked of him when she looks at him instead of an untouchable god, like so many others do. He's going to tell her such, too.

Because if you'll remember, at this point, there are two people who have worn him down enough to land a hit on him: Toji Fushiguro and Rinko Kurisaki. And they did it days apart from each other, for completely different reasons. Gojo was escorting Riko Amanai less than a week after meeting Rinko. 

This was intentional. And it's a trait that irritates him while drawing him to her more. Her comment to Shoko about him being so different with her because of their first encounter? Not far off. She and Toji are cousins. First cousins. His father and her father were brothers. So, bastard or not, their blood relation is more direct than she ever talks about or wants to admit because it's the same amount of blood they'd have shared were she a legitimate child. And the fact that Toji was actually her first introduction to the Jujutsu world as a kid doesn't help with that.

Rinko has viewed herself as weak for multiple reasons and it's made her rely more on her brain than her cursed energy. After training a bit with Gojo, she's relying on both. 

But think back to their fight in Make a Good Bleed: she knew she couldn't beat him, so she focused on wearing him down and being annoying. And then when she saw an opening, she took it.

After just a few meetings with Toji, without him trying to teach her anything, she realized how useful having no cursed energy could be and learned to mask her own to make herself seem weaker. She is incredibly tactical and it will show even more over time. But what makes it even better is that she doesn't realize just how tactical she really is because she has believed what the main clan has told her since the day they met her: half-breeds are weak.

If you'll remember when she called herself a half-breed to Gojo, he clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes at her. That wasn't because he didn't like being bested, it was because he didn't like that she called herself that. What did he say to her after?

"Zenin's are strong." He doesn't differentiate that. She has Zenin blood, so she's strong, 'half-breed' or not. He'll hear Naoya call her this once, and he's going to lose his mind.

Does any of this mean he's off the hook? Oh hell no. But, it's one reason she reacted the way she did in how quickly she retreated and blamed herself there at the end.

TLDR: Humans are messy and imperfect, and Gojo is no exception even if he is the strongest Jujutsu Sorcerer in the world.

[erispenelopeandalittleviolet]

Why I hate 99% of the man in: Kill the villainess

Spoiler Warning

Including: Jason, the priest and the prince.

HUGE TRIGGER WARNING : Mention of S@ and Incest.

Let's start with Jason

I HATE J*son from kill the villainess.

That motherfucker is so fucking disrespectful.

J*son is an early introduced character. The reason why I hate him so much is because (since the moment he was introduced) he keept overstepping Eris's boundaries and keept complimenting and touching her which she dosen't want she dosen't want him close or anything to do with him.

This man obviously sees she is not pleased with it and CONTINUED WITH IT.

Not only that but he keept bothering her and showed up and disturbed her plans and peace.

But most Importantly he cannot take a no. She rejected him and he keept pushing her butt and grew obssesed with her.

He showed up everyday in front of her house (in the later chapters)

How desperte can somebody be? He always acts like he has so much respect for my Eris but in reality he has a sick Obsession with her and his ego is too big that he cannot accept her rejections.

Not only is he like that with eris but in the beginning he was so disgustingly obsessed with Helena too.

°

The other is the Prince man the hate I have for him is bigger then big.

First he is a r*pist. He tried to S@ Eris

Eris killed him and went back in time and had to live with the memory's of such a traumatic event alone and it almost destroyed her soul.

This man basically forced himself on Helena and made her spent time with him even though she wanted to do her dutys as a maid and dosen't want anybody else to do them for her.

Whenever she dosen't has the time he get's all mad and bitchy about it and makes her go to him bc he is a selfish little bitch.

He basically cheated on his fiance Eris with Helena and Helena didn't had another choice in this and was forced into this + she had no power and that is why the OG Eris hated Helena he made her hate her.

That whole Og Eris hating Helena thing was because of the pathetic prince. HE MADE THAT ALL HAPPEN BC HE IS A LITTLE BITCH

He provoked Eris knowing it will creat a fight, he threw all his morals away for power and is also too afraid to stand up against his father. How pathetic.

He treated OG and isekaied Eris so bad and SLAPED HER (he needs to die and suffer) in the fucking face bc of a missunderstand about something THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM. (Also fuck all those royal maids that had beef with Eris FOR NO REASON there all fake ass bitches exept Helena)

He has a lot of Frustration and anger bc of his father and he lets it all out on Eris who also had no saying in this.

He keept saying that he will end the Engagement but in the end she ended the Engagement and he wanted her back wtf???

(Helena deserves better man)

Helena never wanted that motherfucker either but she has basically no powers as a maid and a daughter from a fallen nobel and had to obey as we learn later.

The moment Eris started to show him how much she hated him and all, he wanted her back and wanted her love.

How fucking pathetic is that?

He wanted to have eris for himself and started to be obsessed with her but also wanted Helena too and didn't want eris to be happy with someone else bc it hurted his ego and whatever.

No wonder not even his mother or Father or anyone could love him.

He just wanted to marry Helena so she can feed his ego and so he can have that girl he meet that day on his side not an empress.

(His words btw)

He knew by making Helena an empress that would make her a royal and all but he didn't want her to take that roll like I said he just want her to be a cute girl.

He is such a bitch.

I HATE Him with all of me, really.

•

Last the priest (as you can see I refuse to say there names)

For some context: we learn very early that he and Eris are half siblings.

How?

Well, Eris and the priest have the same father but different mothers.

This guy grew so sickly obsessed with her that he was ready to commit inc*st with her.

Eris told him that there half siblings and he STILL wanted to commit i*cest.

His reasons why it won't be ince*t is that the soul in Eris body is not The OG Eris but from someone else.

LIKE WTF?????

Not only that but when he found out about "Eris" trying to go back to her world he promised her that he will find her no matter where she is or how she looks, he will find her (his words) with the most sickest look i have ever seen btw.

That is so sick.

He also has mommy issues and in the beginning he was only interessted in her bc eris reminded him of his mother.

In the later chapters he also showed up every day infront of her house for whatever. (these man really cannot leave her alone)

Also after "Eris'' finally escaped he used all his powers to try to find her, which THANK GOD DID NOT WORK.

Thank God.

Thank God it didn't work out man.

I like how the ML Anakin (my beloved) had it hard in his life but had a happy ending and these fuckers had a bad ending like thankyou Eris you served ESPECIALLY for not FORGIVING them for there crap and stuff (I love FLs who forgive obviously but sometimes It's sooo unrealistic. Like forgivness is a big step to self healing and you should forgive someone for yourself and all but thankyou eris for showing them that they acually can't get away with something just cuz they had a little sad life.)

Anakin MY BELOVED He is one of the few ML's who I don't find annoying.

They didn't had a stupid little fight bc of a missunderstanding or smt, he was there for her, respected her and loved her for who she is and not for who he thinks she is.

He sees her, respects her and is there for her. He wants to protect her (which he successfully did) he looks out for her and wants her to be happy.

He can be a little obsessiv, yes but NOT in a creepy sick way (like the other guys), It's the most healthys way ever.

He is so gentle with her I love him sm 🥹🥹

LOOK AT HOW HE GOT THIS CHICK SMILING

This women is so in love with him like I'm so happy for her 🥹🥹🥹

"Let's just run away" MOST ROMATIC LINE EVER

And we need more man who look like him

I mean look at him.

Man is handsome

I LOVE THERE LOVE

The reason I love Eris so much, is because she is so strong and I don't think I need to explain why I love Anakin sm, right?

This manhawa/webtoon NEEDS more readers.

Read it, Thank you.

@viiper1

They are badass and cute 😚😚😋

Lmao if I think abt it not they fit the image of "black cat GF and Golden puppy BF" from there looks.

[shidouryusm]

I just realised today marks exactly one year since my breakup.

I'm so so so proud for growing into myself in this one year. I have strengthened my boundaries, I have become more firm in asserting what I want from a partner and won't be settling for anything less. Most importantly, I have realised my own worth, my own importance so so much more than last year. I discovered what I genuinely like, I went out a lot with my friends even on countless self dates, I read books about self-worth and productive habits, I worked and studied hard, I travelled, I just became a relatively more happier person than I was, from 2021 infact.

Last year Sami would not make the choices this year's sami made. As much as I was hurt emotionally and it took me a fair chunk of month to recover, I'm glad I experienced it in order to realise how much I was depriving myself of my own potential and how much I, as an individual, am so much interesting with my own set of goals and likings. As well as realising I am also an individual who has things to work on before getting with someone else. My idea of dating has drastically shifted and honestly I don't think it would have happened if I were to be in that relationship still.

It wasn't abusive nor it was degrading or demeaning to me but I was unknowingly being treated as a much much less priority in the name of "work" and "space". Now I am very sharp about these sugarcoated distancing and disrespect and won't tolerate it otherwise.

I've grown. I am thriving. I am happy.

[imsailorpluto]

True Beauty - unpopular opinion edition (7 eps in)

Girlie Jukyung should ditch Seojun completely. Setting boundaries is not her thing, fine. But putting this guy on hold would be the smartest choice. He needs to cool off.

Let me explain.

Truth be told, Seojun is problematic and highly toxic. Simple as that. He reminds me of her previous bullies a lot. His methods are completely different, but umm... Hello??? He knows Suho and Jukyung are both into each other yet he's trying really hard to meddle in and play with their heads. Imagine if someone did that to you irl. Would you think that's cute? Probably not.

Yeah he's got a cute face. But he's actually not that great to people around him.

This guy not only drags Jukyung in his own problems and conflicts, but he does so all while presenting her as his girlfriend to a bunch of people, online and offline. It results with our main girlie getting kidnapped and held hostage, quite literally! I know guys are being this disrespectful irl as well, all too often. And we girls love romanticising their stupid behaviour.

I hate this enemies to lovers the show's been trying to pull off. If they make these two fall in love, istg

Jukyung's anxiety levels must be out of the roof because of this immature pabo. My thoughts are that she might fall for him, confusing all the freaking anxiety with butterflies.

Ughhhhh he's catching feelings for sure and I'm not here for it. Yeah, yeah, he's slowly starting to realise how cool our girlie is. After being a complete jerk for many times. Bravo!

And of course I have to say the most important thing. He's doing all this to hurt Suho, intentionally. So now we see him hurting not only one person he actually wants to hurt, but he's using and hurting Jukyung in that process. Seriously. What kind of man does this? The best (worst) part is - it's working. He knows how to get inside Suho's head and has already made both Suho and Jukyung direct victims of his own pain and unresolved anger.

I get that he's hurting because his friend died, but he isn't the only one who lost a friend. Since there's plenty of room for his change of character, I'm assuming that's exactly going to happen in the following episodes.

He is falling for the main girl, afterall.

Even if he changes, after watching 7 episodes of this show, honestly, I wouldn't want to see him with Jukyung at all. She deserves better. She deserves someone who has had an open heart towards her since the beginning, someone who isn't using her kindness for some vicious payback and someone who isn't playing mind games on her and her friends.

Rant over. If you read everything - I am sorryyyy. I really wanted to like his character up until now, I tried. I see lots of viewers shipping Seojun and Jukyung. That's why I'm assuming there's some major change, some plot twist after first half of the series. Ohhh I'm scared to find out what comes next. But yeah... we'll see. It's just a silly show, nothing serious, right? Hahah

Enough talking from me..

Bye bye for now

(⁠◠⁠‿⁠◕⁠)

[5eraphim]

Yeah, the choice is ultimately up to you but this guy blatantly disregards your boundaries and disrespects you. Not to mention he's a fucken creep. It's hard to show people, especially yourself, that you can say no and have boundaries, but we all start somewhere. Maybe your start is telling that guy to fuck off in a way you're comfortable with. I also want to say that nothing is set in stone when it comes to who you are as a person. You aren't just a push over, you aren't just weak, you aren't what your past actions have boxed you in as. You always have the chance to say no or change your mind, and there's no one out there who can make you feel bad about it. I'm rooting for ya.

this is a really sweet thing to say, and honestly i wasnt really expecting any kind of response to that post- let alone one so well-said!! im trying to not burn any bridges, not hurt anyone's feelings, but i hate having to turn him down again and again the same way bc he WONT leave me alone😭

i got back from a visit and am trying to force meslef to get back into writing to have some fun creative time as im job hunt. its also relevant to say, but this is vermont and its almost foliage season, and i waitress, realistically- just about anywhere thats open now is looking for extra help, so there a little luck on my side :) 🍀

.... also not that this matters really, but did i mention after i quit and stooped returning his messages he guilted me into texting him back by telling me HIS DOG DIED THAT DAY , and what was i gonna do? ignore it? of course not- i told him my condolences chatted a little about pets and life and thankfully the convo ended quickly,

but seriously dude? bringing up your dead pet to your ex employee who stopped texting you back bc you KEEP BADGERING ME INTO COMING BACK TO YOUR SHIT HICK-TOWN DINER!!!!!

[messengerhermes]

I wonder how often people who complain about "HRT changing someone's personality" are actually mad about someone's increased confidence giving them better boundaries and the courage to advocate for themselves more.

I started T less than a month ago, but made the choice a couple of months back.

Since deciding to start T, I've noticed I'm honoring my boundaries and feelings more often and faster. Even in the places where normally I'd fall into the place of making excuses, even when I'm profoundly uncomfortable for it, because it means hurting or disappointing people I care about.

Testosterone is often framed as the "rage juice," that it makes people angrier or selfish. Which is Terf nonsense used to vilify trans femmes for their bodies and create panic about trans masc bodies being "corrupted".

But I also wonder if there's an element of rage and anger in there about how starting testosterone probably gives a lot of people the confidence and validation they need to feel connected with their own bodies. (I specify testosterone because I don't see this said around estrogen, which has it's own shitty bogey men paraded around.)

And you know what happens when you actually feel like your body is yours and a part of you?

You feel protective of it.

My body has always been worthy of my protection, of dignity, and respect.

But I have struggled to honor that worthiness.

In the span of three weeks, I've more consistently recognized when I feel infringed upon, in what ways, and figured out how I need to address that.

Which, has been phenomenally messy, anxiety provoking, and uncomfortable if I'm honest. The sudden surge of remembering "actually, you're a completely self actualized human being in your own right and have the right to name when you're hurt or feel disrespected" has made me clumsy in asserting myself when my feelings are hurt lately. I'm not as smooth at this as I would like, because I don't really have practice.

This has created places where I need to do repair work, which isn't what anyone wants out of getting to have the grand resurgence of "hey, I love myself, actually." But life lacks the clean polish of cinema and outside of abusive circumstances, most conflicts we have with loved ones will probably include an element of "well we all could have done things a bit differently" mixed with "well we all feel a bit tread upon and hurt."

But, it's also been good.

It feels good to protect myself. To make choices that prioritize my needs, that get me out of places where I'm hurt.

We all deserve the chance to find and explore the things that let us feel our body's worth, that let us fully occupy ourselves and our space.

With time, I hope I can grow to hold my full size with grace, in a way that allows me to both keep my boundaries and express my feelings and respect other's as they hold and express theirs.